Day 20: Time Passes, But What Changes?

I was in the middle of writing about something completely different for today's blog when it dawned on me: Today is the one year anniversary of the horrific movie theater shootings in Aurora, Colorado.

My first reaction was disbelief; There's no way that it's been a year already. It seems like so many bad things have happened in the last year, tragedies layered upon tragedies. The US suffered Sandy Hook, The Boston Massacre, Trayvon Martin, and numerous other life-changing events that were either overdone or completely ignored by the media. Around the world there were uprisings in Syria, Egypt, and Libya, genocide, suffering, car bombs, and no real end to the wars that two Presidents have now claimed are long over. Some days it feels like a huge, cold shadow has been cast over the whole world.

A year ago, I wrote about the Aurora shootings as a shell-shocked mom who couldn't believe that something so unspeakable could happen in such an ordinary, innocuous place. I was convinced that this tragedy would serve as a wake-up call for us to step back and look at our violent tendencies, inconsistent gun laws, and mental illness stigmas. I had faith that humanity would persevere. While I couldn't justify the deaths of innocent people, I believed in silver linings. I thought that everything happened for a reason and believed in the power of people to band together to make something positive come out of something so unspeakable.

But as time marches on, I'm less sure of my convictions. Twelve months have passed, and yet othing has really changed. Instead of banding together against the craziness in the world, everyone just writes angry tweets (myself included) and we grow further and further divided on every issue. Events like Aurora are becoming the norm rather than the exception. Violence is everywhere and our eyes and hearts are becoming indifferent to it all. Personally, my wells of hope and positivity are waning. My silver linings have become tarnished and grey.

Today, I don't care if you're Republican or Democrat. I don't care if you're pro-life or pro-choice, for or against gay marriage, or a Lady Gaga fan. All I ask is that when we're all fighting with each other from behind the safety of our computer screens about issues that we really don't know a thing about, we remember the people we have lost. Honor them in any way you can. Honor them by being nice to a stranger or by not making a nasty comment on a gun control article on Facebook. It's a small step, but the world isn't going to clean itself up. That much is obvious.

Where'd All The Good People Go?

A few weeks ago, I read a disturbing article. Nearly two-thirds of Americans are on some form of anti-depressant. Anxiety is at an all-time high. Nearly 30,000 Americans committed suicide in 2012 alone. I think the point of the article was to demonstrate America's dependency on pharmaceutical companies, but what I took away from it is that we are all walking around like open wounds, hurt, confused, terrified, and desperate for some form of escape from an increasingly violent reality.

I don't know about anyone else, but ever since 9/11, I find it nearly impossible to relax on an airplane. Ever since the 2007 London Bus bombings, I'm weary of city buses. Ever since Aurora, I've kept one eye on the exit every time I'm in a movie theater. And ever since Newtown, I have hated dropping my kids off at school every morning, wondering if that day will be their last.

And now Boston.

I would like to make it clear that I realize that violence, terrorism, and senseless tragedy is an every day occurance in other countries. Many people's first reaction to events like yesterday is "This happens all the time, all around the world and no one cares, so what's the big deal?" and honestly, this is a horrible reaction. Fighting apathy with apathy is pointless. The fact that violence occurs other places doesn't take away from what happened in Boston. If anything, it's a reminder that we all live on this crazy, messed up planet together and we should empathize with everyone who is a victim of violence, whether it occurs in your hometown or thousands of miles away. Have a heart. Show some compassion.

Speaking of compassion, in situations like this I have noticed two kinds of people: The good and the parasitical. The bad people are not just the obvious characters like the bomber(s) but the people who try to take advantage of an already horrible situation by creating fake Twitter accounts to "accept donations" for victims or to spread false reports or conspiracy theories.Why create chaos out of chaos? It's beyond me. People like this are not only showing a complete and utter lack of respect for victims and families, but for the human race in general. But I don't want to focus too much on the bad people. They don't deserve the attention.

The good are the best kind of people out there, the amazing first responders who ran towards the smoke and flames, into the chaos, intent on staying calm and saving lives while everyone else froze. The good are the marathon runners who kept running past the finish line, straight to hospitals to donate blood. The good are the spectators who, though injured themselves, helped others to safety. One of the best things in life is being pleasantly surprised by the kindness and humanity people are capable of expressing. Maybe it doesn't make everyone feel safer on an airplane or worry less about sending their kids to school every day, but in some small way, it's reassuring to think that there are people who are willing to put their lives on the line for the sake of someone else. That in the worst of situations, you can find the best in people and it doesn't get much better than that.

I'm only one person, a couple of thousand miles away from Boston, but I wish it was physically possible to hug the whole city right now and to let them know that people across the country are standing with them.We care about you, Boston, all the way from Albuquerque, and everywhere in between. 

If anyone is interested in helping, please check out the American Red Cross or my personal favorite good-doers Humans Helping Humans . Don't hang your head in fear, be proactive and help the world carry on. Hug your families, be grateful for what you have. Talk to your friends who are going through a hard time and don't be afraid to talk to someone about your own hard time. And turn off the TV every once in awhile. The bad news will still be there when you come back.

Most importantly, remember the helpers. See the good in life, humanity, and each other, no matter how desperate it feels. The good people haven't gone anywhere. You just have to look a little harder to find them.