That is, when you aren’t calling it by its actual name, the equally obnoxiously hashtagged #RichKidsOfBeverlyHills. #RCOBH (as the kids call it when it's trending on the Twitter) is the story of privileged, beautiful, spoiled people who tire of spending Daddy’s money and put their trust funds towards building hospitals in third world countries, building homes for the homeless and reading to the blind.
Ha. I wish. I would actually watch that show.
In actuality, the show is based on rich kids (insofar as you can call someone in their mid-20s a 'kid') with piles of Daddy's money, but these rich kids aren't do-gooders so much as spoiled brats who do little more with their lives than blow $10,000 on purses that they lose count of. The show centers around Dorothy and Morgan, both daughters of billionaires and self-proclaimed BFFS, a lofty claim for two people who seem to spend more time tweeting in each others company than actually talking. Frankly, it was a horrifying look at what I sincerely hope is not an accurate representation of the human race, and after the hour I spent watching it, I felt that if I couldn't sleep, the least I could do was warn world of its existence so that my loss of IQ points wouldn't be in vain.
Or at the very least, completely rip it apart. So here goes.
As I mentioned, the story is centered around two spoiled piles of crazy, Morgan and Dorothy. Dorothy is a twenty-five year old "adult" who’s official occupation is “Being Funemployed and Fabuluxe” (It's okay, I have no idea what that means either) and who says super rational things like “You can’t put a price tag on a good night out” while casually paying her $40,000 bar tabs with one of her six her limitless credit card. Generous? Maybe. Completely out of touch with any kind of reality? Absolutely. Worse, Dorothy has no discernible talents, education, goals, or really any sense of reality whatsoever. In fact, Dorothy’s only aspiration in life is her oh-so-specific and practical goal of becoming “The next Asian sensation”.
#NeverGiveUpOnYourDreams, Dorothy.
Her counterpart and aforementioned BFF is Morgan, also twenty-five and also the daughter of a billionaire. Morgan has a worm-faced real estate mogul boyfriend with zero personality and an obsession with asking everyone if she’s looking “thinner in the face” each and every time she sees them (Why? Your guess is as good as mine). Morgan writes (for lack of a better word) a blog called “Boobs and Loubs” which for obvious reasons, I had to look at the second I learned of its existence. While part of me felt I should give Morgan credit for at least doing something else with her life (unlike Dorothy) once I actually saw the blog, I just couldn't muster up any respect. Because, unsurprisingly, Morgan's blog is basically a selfie photo gallery sprinkled with the occasional 100 word blog about how hungover she is (or how no one has told her she looks thinner in the face today). Riveting stuff, really. Morgan's biggest disillusion is that she should write a book because she’s “funny”, but really the only thing funny about Morgan is the fact that she can talk about how funny she is with a perfectly straight face.
Truthfully, there are no words for how utterly pointless and vile this show is. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not above terrible, guilty-pleasure TV (Once I start watching Honey Boo Boo I, shamefully, can't stop) but this show is really hitting rock bottom, entertainment wise. The #RKOBH, with its incessant hashtags (which aren’t just limited to the title, but to each “section” of the show as well), selfies, loud, screechy fights about nothing, and just all around pointlessness, is terrible TV overkill. I mean, #overkill.
Bottom line: I know most reality television is scripted to some extent, but I hope, for the sake of humanity, that these real rich kids are, at the very least, exaggerated versions of themselves and only half as vapid as they appear to be. Truly, every single person on this show is the exact opposite of what I want my kids to turn out to be. And I guess that if I had to put a "value" on the show (ugh) it would be that it's a shining example of how not to raise kids, how money and entitlement make you a horrible, self-involved person. So horrible in fact that it almost makes me wonder if the the whole show is secretly some kind of experiment where terrible people are put on the same desert island and left to duke it out, Hunger Games style.
Ooooh. If only…
