If I had to pick my worst quality, it would be that I am too much of a worrier and not enough of a warrior.
Worriers, as their name implies, are the finicky-type who lie in bed at night twiddling their thumbs over things they have no control over, and are often too paralyzed in their worry to take action. Worriers are the worst-case-scenario-going, Tums-popping nervous people who are often prone to pessimism in most grave situations. We are the exact opposite of warriors who, unsurprisingly, are the action-takers of the world, the fighters, the ones who have formulated an upbeat and optimistic plan of action before the worriers can even begin to comprehend the situation. As someone who's favorite catch-phrase is "Be careful!", I am a classic worrier. No matter how many times I remind myself that worrying is fruitless or how long it takes me to work up the courage to force myself into action, I always have been (and probably also will be) a worrier. But fortunately, this isn't a story about a worrier. This is a story about a warrior.
The warrior is Heather Von St. James, who at only thirty-six years old, was diagnosed with Pleural Mesothelioma , a cancer typically caused by frequent exposure to asbestos. The scary thing about Pleural Mesothelioma is that the disease can lay dormant for as many as ten years, with no symptoms or side effects of any kind, until you basically wake up one day with cancer. Heather, whose father was a construction worker, was exposed to asbestos because she loved to wear her dad's coat that he wore at his construction sites around the house when he was home (like most little girls would). This frequent exposure to asbestos, was enough to infect her with Mesothelioma, though she had no knowledge of the disease whatsoever until her diagnosis. And by the time she was diagnosed, Heather was told that she had only fifteen months left to live.
This in itself would have been a life-changing diagnosis for anyone, but it was made all the more painful by the fact that Heather had given birth to her daughter Lily only three months before the diagnosis. Essentially, Heather had been given both a daughter and a death sentence within the span of only a few months.
Can you even begin to wrap your head around that?
Because honestly, I can't imagine what must have gone through Heather's head. The thing no one tells you about having kids is that it changes the way that your mind works, usually without you even noticing. Suddenly, you can't imagine what your life would be like if you lost your child, and it's equally terrifying to wonder what would happen if they lost you. The thought of your child having to grow up without their mother would be enough for anyone, warrior or not, to fall spectacularly to pieces.
But instead of falling apart, Heather began treatment. On February 2, 2006 she had her infected lung removed, a day her sister, in an effort to add humor to an otherwise dim situation, dubbed "Lung Leavin' Day". In fact, humor and positivity became the dominant forces in Heather's life, despite her grim diagnosis. While fear is human, Heather didn't allow herself to drown in self-pity or worry. It wouldn't have been good for her daughter, her husband, or herself to fall apart. Heather had a choice to let the disease and the worry that came with it dominate her life or not. She chose not.
Fueled by her positive outlook, Heather continued to fight. She had her surgery and passed her fifteen month deadline. And then lived for another year, and another, and another. Today Heather is an advocate for Asbestos Awareness and Pleural Mesothelioma and is living a happy, cancer-free life with her husband Cameron and Lily, who is now eight. In honor of the surgery that ultimately saved her life, Heather created Lung Leavin' Day, a website that coincides with the anniversary of her surgery, in which visitors can write their fears on virtual plates and smash them into a fire (Heather and her husband Cameron do this every year, but with real fire and real plates). I love this because even with all of her positivity, Heather is saying that it is still okay to have fears. Fear is normal, but smashing that fear and seeing the good in every day is the thing that can truly heal you.
Heather is a testament to the power of positivity.The hardest thing in the world is holding it together when the world around you feels like it's spiraling out of control, and to see the positive in scary situations. Fear can make worriers out of warriors and worriers crumble with self-doubt. But if you don't let it control you, fear can also make you a fighter. I would call Heather fearless, not because there is an absence of fear in her life, but because she doesn't let fear control her life. Through positivity and awareness, Heather turns fear into the fuel for her fire.
Talk about a warrior.
If you would like to learn more about Heather or smash a few plates (which I highly recommend), please check out her blog.
