Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

A couple of weeks ago I realized something that shocked me to the very core. Next summer will be my ten -year high school reunion. As I marveled at how fast that one sneaked up on me, I began to wonder whether or not I would go. I went back and forth for days. At first I thought, why not go? I have a great husband, two gorgeous kids, a job I love, school, a blog...in other words, I've accomplished a lot to be proud of in the last ten years. On the other hand, who cares? I am still in contact with anyone from high school that I cared to be in contact with, thanks to the wonder that is Facebook, what was the point in seeing anyone else? Still, I couldn't decide.

Then, a few nights ago I was sitting in a rocking chair in the hospital  holding my brand-new nephew and I started to think about something that I don't think about nearly often enough.

I have a great life. I'm crazy about my husband, head-over-heels in love with my kids and I am fortunate enough to belong to two amazing families. I have fantastic friends, the kind of friends who will always listen, help out or just hang out, who don't care if my house is a mess or if my shirt has finger paint all over it. On top of all of that, I am pursuing dreams that I thought I would never have the guts to pursue. 

Okay yes, I'm bragging, but my point is that ten years ago when seventeen-year-old Abbey was asked where she thought she would be in ten years, she never thought she'd be lucky enough to be here. Which got me thinking that I wish I could go back in time to seventeen-year-old Abbey and tell her a few things. This is what I'd say:

I'd start by discrediting that horrible rumor that your high school years are the best years of your life. It's a lie. High school is just a test you have to pass and the reward for passing is forgetting all about it. College is where the real fun starts and you'll like it so much that you'll spend the next several years there just learning everything you can about everything you can (after you spend a few years avoiding school...but that's a different lecture). You'll fall in love and get your heart broken. Then you'll fall in love again for the last time with the right guy and realize your heart wasn't so broken after all. You'll get married and your husband will go on to play in a Fantasy Football league with guy number one and be completely cool with it because he's that amazing. You'll have children so breathtakingly beautiful and sweet that being a mother will be your new dream. You and your high school best friend will go from being inseparable to complete strangers, and it's okay to be sad about it sometimes. You'll have friends that will stick around and others will simply fade away. But for every person you lose you'll gain one so amazing you'll forget the other person ever existed. These will be the friends that you love like family. People will love you for you, but more importantly, you will learn to love you for you. Those people that you think matter so much will be the very same people whose pictures you will squint at and not be able to remember them. There will be good times and bad times, but hang in there. The best is yet to come.

In the end I decided to leave seventeen-year-old Abbey where she belongs; in the past. Twenty-seven year old Abbey is in charge now. I'm the same person in the ways that matter, but a stronger, better version. I understand why people would want to go to their high school reunions (seeing people they fell out of touch with, unrequited crushes, and the like) but I'm not one of them. I know that my life is blessed and I don't need to try to impress a roomful of people, half of which probably don't even remember who I am. I survived high school and even managed to have some fun while I was there. And that's good enough for me.

And so, on the night of the reunion for Eldorado High School Class of 2002, you won't find me there. Maybe I'll be having an adventure with my kids, at book club or out with the girls, or just watching TV with Josh. But wherever I am, I'll be exactly where I belong.