Here's a disturbing statistic: Twenty-three children have died this year (eight in the month of August alone and we're only half-way through the month) due to extreme heat overexposure because, in almost every case, their parents simply "forgot they were in the car".
Okay...really?!
This statistic both baffles and sickens me, but since I realize there is a fine line between outrage and self-righteousness (a line I feel I'm about to teeter precariously on), I'll try my best not to say that everyone who loses their child due to something that is entirely preventable is an idiot. They're not. I don't want to give the impression that I feel like I'm a better parent than anyone else. I'm not. No matter what, losing a child is a horrific tragedy and these tragedies aren't specific to a certain socioeconomic class, race, or gender. We're all human and we are all capable of making mistakes.
That being said...
People are not stupid, but what they are is incredibly self-absorbed, which as far as I"m concerned, can be even more lethal than being stupid. I know, I write a blog. I spent hours of my life slaving over a hot computer, trying to perfectly formulate my every thought under the guise that someone, somewhere thinks that my opinion is important and articulate enough to read and possibly take seriously. How self-absorbed this that?! The difference is, this self-absorption has never (and will never) hurt anyone. I don't leave my kids unattended in a hundred degree car for hours so I can write about issues of injustice, when I'm committing the biggest act of injustice myself; not taking care of my kids.
Here's the thing. No matter how many wonderful days you have with your children, how many hugs they give, milestones they pass, finger paintings they create and how much love you accumulate in your life, the truth is that being a parent is really, really hard. I've had moments where I'm so overwhelmed with the sheer responsibility of being in charge of two lives that I feel like I'm hyperventilating and crawling up the walls. It can be terrifying. But it's also a choice. I choose to be a parent and I choose to do the best I can possibly do.
If you need ten minutes to yourself, I get that. Believe me, I get it better than anyone else. But leaving your child in a sweltering car in the summertime with the windows rolled up so you can go walk around the mall is not a viable solution. Being a parent means you now come second. I know it sucks sometimes, especially when you feel like you never get a break, but from the minute that second line shows up on the pee stick, it's not about you anymore. You have a job to do and you only have one shot at it. No one is perfect, but we can all try. And just so we're all on the same page, forgetting your kid in the car because you're too busy thinking about the Iphone 4 or what Ryan Lochte looks like shirtless does NOT constitute trying.
And honestly, how do you truly forget that your kid is in the car? Yes, sometimes they fall asleep or are occupied by looking out the window or reading a book, but generally speaking, kids are hard to forget. For one, they're loud. They talk, talk, talk or if they're too young to talk, they will occasionally cry because they're bored, hungry, or just want to remind you that they're there. At least my kids were that way and I doubt very highly that they were abnormal in that regard. So my question is, what exactly are the parents doing? What's occupying their minds? And why aren't they paying attention to their kids?
Which brings me right back to self-absorbed. If you can forget about your kids, what exactly are your priorities? I can't think of a single time I forgot about my kids. Even when my kid's grandparents keep them for a night, I still think about them. I'm constantly worrying if they've eaten enough, are behaving well or are sleeping well. I'm by no means trying to suggest that I'm a better parent that anyone else, but my kids occupy a majority of my mind a majority of the time. So for me, even a night off isn't really a night off at all. The fact is, you just don't get time off when you're a parent. You are a parent twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five (or six) days a year until the second you kick the bucket. There are no sick days, no calling in late, and no excuses. That is the reality. So unless you're ready to face an unspeakable tragedy and lose what should be the most important thing in the world to you, get used to it.
We only get one shot at raising our kids. So wake up, get your head where it needs to be and take care of your business. Otherwise, be prepared to face the consequences.
Thanks. I feel much better now.
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