My already-busy life has suddenly become a whirlwind.
Last week I decided to take on an exciting opportunity. Now in addition to having two kids, being married, taking five classes, and blogging, I will also be writing a parenting column for an online magazine called The Examiner! I'm beyond excited. Really, excited doesn't even begin to cover it. I jumped up and down so much the day I got offered the job I thought I was going to break through the floor. It is amazing in the way that only unexpected things that you never think will actually happen are.
Okay, random story, but when I was in high school I really, really wanted to write for the school newspaper. I actually had a few teachers who also wanted me to, but I was always really self-conscious about my writing in that way that a seventeen-year-old is self-conscious about just about everything. Long story short, I never did it. I kind of always wished that I had. Anyway, fast-forward ten years and I have a public blog and a column for an online newspaper, that anyone anywhere can read anytime.
I've come a long way, baby.
But with the confidence to blab my life story to a computer and the thrill of being on the internet in a good way, something unexpected also arrived. Anxiety.
This really wouldn't be anything that remarkable if I was anxious about the job, school, or how to juggle my life, but I'm not. I'm just anxious, without context. And the worst part is, I've taken to pacing. I pace and I worry about things like global warming and public schools, and whether or not Leonardo DiCaprio will ever win an Oscar. Sometimes I worry that those horn things in Lady Gaga's face hurt her. In other words, a varied and really random assortment of things, none of which I could ever possibly have any control over (Okay, maybe global warming, but that's a tangent for another day). Sometimes Ben likes to pace with me and, while I like the company, it does nothing to relax my preexisting fear that I'm psychologically damaging my kids just by being their mom.
I can't explain it, but I guess I'm just going to choose to focus on the good in life. Because there really is a lot of it. And if nothing else, at least pacing is exercise.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
If this was your job, you'd quit!
Being a stay-at-home mom is the world's hardest job.
And believe me, I would know. I've held about a million jobs. Have you ever read "War and Peace"? That 2,000 some odd page book looks like a children's book compared to my resume. But I digress.
I am the following: A cook, a maid, an entertainer, a scheduler, a nurse, an artist, a teacher, a driver, a coach, a referee, a nutritionist, a stylist, a handyman, and a cheerleader. Oh, and did I mention that I do all of these jobs for free? And that I work 365 days a week, 24 hours a day? With no sick leave? And no vacation?
So much goes into being a stay-at-home mom. There's the obvious taking care of the children part, which in itself is a hell of a job. I'd love to be able to pop my kids in front of a TV all day, but I just can't do it with a clean conscience. I want to teach them and take them outside. I want them to be aware of the world around them and aware of themselves as the people who live in that world. My kids are fantastic (in my humble, completely biased opinion) and frankly, I want them to stay that way. I see a lot of really terrible kids from week to week, which makes me sad. It's not the kid's fault that they're awful (usually), it's the parents. I'm a firm believer that kids shouldn't have to ask for your time, love, and consideration, it should just be a given.
For example, the other day, the kids and I were at the park and there was a woman with her son who was probably three or so. She was sitting on a bench talking on her phone, while her kid sat about two feet in front of her, eating sand and staring right at her. She carried on with her conversation (during which, by the way, she dropped so many F-bombs I felt like I had to get my kids away from her ASAP before that became a word that came out of their mouths). My point? Three year olds are old enough to know that you don't eat sand. That poor kid just wanted a little attention.
I'm not about to sit here and claim to be the world's greatest mom. I have many things about my personality that go against ever earning this title. I am the world's most impatient person (now that's a title I've earned!). My kids literally use up all of my very limited patience during the day, which translates into me having zero left for everyone else in the world sometimes. But guess what? My kids don't eat sand. I blog when they nap. I do homework when they're in bed at night. In other word, whatever my shortcomings, I try. Really, really hard.
Staying at home can be tedious. Sometimes it feels like the movie "Groundhog Day". I feel like I do the same things over and over. But I'm smart enough to realize a couple of things. Number one, I'm lucky to have the opportunity to stay home with my kids while they are young. Number two, they won't always be young. Someday they'll grow up and turn into teenagers who want absolutely nothing to do with me and all I'll have left will be memories of "the good old days" when they were toddlers and I felt like my presence made a difference in their lives (as hard as it is now to imagine referring to my constant work and sleepless nights as the good old days!). Lastly, I know that parents can be the greatest influence in their children's lives and right now, I'm putting lessons into their heads that will (hopefully) be there forever.
So yes, even when I'm left with two cranky kids, staring at the front door after Josh leaves for work with envy, I really wouldn't trade my life, no matter how challenging it is.
So fellow stay-at-home moms out there, you are amazing. We are amazing. If anyone else had our job, they'd quit!
And believe me, I would know. I've held about a million jobs. Have you ever read "War and Peace"? That 2,000 some odd page book looks like a children's book compared to my resume. But I digress.
I am the following: A cook, a maid, an entertainer, a scheduler, a nurse, an artist, a teacher, a driver, a coach, a referee, a nutritionist, a stylist, a handyman, and a cheerleader. Oh, and did I mention that I do all of these jobs for free? And that I work 365 days a week, 24 hours a day? With no sick leave? And no vacation?
So much goes into being a stay-at-home mom. There's the obvious taking care of the children part, which in itself is a hell of a job. I'd love to be able to pop my kids in front of a TV all day, but I just can't do it with a clean conscience. I want to teach them and take them outside. I want them to be aware of the world around them and aware of themselves as the people who live in that world. My kids are fantastic (in my humble, completely biased opinion) and frankly, I want them to stay that way. I see a lot of really terrible kids from week to week, which makes me sad. It's not the kid's fault that they're awful (usually), it's the parents. I'm a firm believer that kids shouldn't have to ask for your time, love, and consideration, it should just be a given.
For example, the other day, the kids and I were at the park and there was a woman with her son who was probably three or so. She was sitting on a bench talking on her phone, while her kid sat about two feet in front of her, eating sand and staring right at her. She carried on with her conversation (during which, by the way, she dropped so many F-bombs I felt like I had to get my kids away from her ASAP before that became a word that came out of their mouths). My point? Three year olds are old enough to know that you don't eat sand. That poor kid just wanted a little attention.
I'm not about to sit here and claim to be the world's greatest mom. I have many things about my personality that go against ever earning this title. I am the world's most impatient person (now that's a title I've earned!). My kids literally use up all of my very limited patience during the day, which translates into me having zero left for everyone else in the world sometimes. But guess what? My kids don't eat sand. I blog when they nap. I do homework when they're in bed at night. In other word, whatever my shortcomings, I try. Really, really hard.
Staying at home can be tedious. Sometimes it feels like the movie "Groundhog Day". I feel like I do the same things over and over. But I'm smart enough to realize a couple of things. Number one, I'm lucky to have the opportunity to stay home with my kids while they are young. Number two, they won't always be young. Someday they'll grow up and turn into teenagers who want absolutely nothing to do with me and all I'll have left will be memories of "the good old days" when they were toddlers and I felt like my presence made a difference in their lives (as hard as it is now to imagine referring to my constant work and sleepless nights as the good old days!). Lastly, I know that parents can be the greatest influence in their children's lives and right now, I'm putting lessons into their heads that will (hopefully) be there forever.
So yes, even when I'm left with two cranky kids, staring at the front door after Josh leaves for work with envy, I really wouldn't trade my life, no matter how challenging it is.
So fellow stay-at-home moms out there, you are amazing. We are amazing. If anyone else had our job, they'd quit!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
When did I have that third child?
Husbands are funny.
Husbands are your man. Your protector. Your amazing, adorable, such-and-such, and all that good stuff. And then you have children and suddenly Husband locks into the role of "fun one".
Do you guys watch Modern Family? Josh and I are really into it right now. On the show (for those of you who don't know) there is a couple named Claire and Phil who are the parents of three children. Claire is a slightly uptight, super-organized neat freak, who prefers a "let's sweep it under the rug" mentality. Phil, on the other hand, is a laid-back, go-with-the-flow self-proclaimed "cool dad" who definitely has a "hug it out" mentality.
If any of you are thinking "Hey, that sounds like Abbey and Josh!", Good Job! ;)
Anyway, in this one episode Claire is driving in the car with her son and the son starts talking about how cool and fun Phil is. Long story short, Claire tells her son that she used to be cool, but she gave it up for the kids because you can't have two cool parents or you'll end up like the kid that comes to school in pajamas and pays for everything with hundred dollar bills.
It's so true.
Dads are always the cool ones. Always the fun ones. Sure, they put their work in with disciplining, loving, and potty-training and everything else that comes along with it. But somehow Dads are still seen as the parent that most resembles a kid and so Moms are left to feel like they've gained, you guessed it, an extra kid. It's not necessarily always a bad thing (like when the kids want to go play with Josh and I can blog!) but I see it all the time, with all of my friends who have kids, and I just want to know why this phenomenon happens. Moms are hip. Moms are rockin'. Okay, maybe not me, but I'm sure that some Mom somewhere is cool.
Maybe we'll never know. All I know is that right now Josh is taking Layla to see "Tangled" and this Mama and her Mama's boy are taking a nap. Yay!
Husbands are your man. Your protector. Your amazing, adorable, such-and-such, and all that good stuff. And then you have children and suddenly Husband locks into the role of "fun one".
Do you guys watch Modern Family? Josh and I are really into it right now. On the show (for those of you who don't know) there is a couple named Claire and Phil who are the parents of three children. Claire is a slightly uptight, super-organized neat freak, who prefers a "let's sweep it under the rug" mentality. Phil, on the other hand, is a laid-back, go-with-the-flow self-proclaimed "cool dad" who definitely has a "hug it out" mentality.
If any of you are thinking "Hey, that sounds like Abbey and Josh!", Good Job! ;)
Anyway, in this one episode Claire is driving in the car with her son and the son starts talking about how cool and fun Phil is. Long story short, Claire tells her son that she used to be cool, but she gave it up for the kids because you can't have two cool parents or you'll end up like the kid that comes to school in pajamas and pays for everything with hundred dollar bills.
It's so true.
Dads are always the cool ones. Always the fun ones. Sure, they put their work in with disciplining, loving, and potty-training and everything else that comes along with it. But somehow Dads are still seen as the parent that most resembles a kid and so Moms are left to feel like they've gained, you guessed it, an extra kid. It's not necessarily always a bad thing (like when the kids want to go play with Josh and I can blog!) but I see it all the time, with all of my friends who have kids, and I just want to know why this phenomenon happens. Moms are hip. Moms are rockin'. Okay, maybe not me, but I'm sure that some Mom somewhere is cool.
Maybe we'll never know. All I know is that right now Josh is taking Layla to see "Tangled" and this Mama and her Mama's boy are taking a nap. Yay!
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